


Eternal Tails: Chasing The Wind

by Pantalion



Series: Behind Your Eyes [6]
Category: Sonic the Hedgehog (IDW Comics), Sonic the Hedgehog (Video Games), Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Awkward Dates, Canon-Typical Violence, Communication Failure, Concerts, Deconstruction, Denial, Dysfunctional Relationships, F/M, Feelings, Fluff and Angst, Gen, Insecurity, Introspection, Physical Abuse, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Stream of Consciousness, Tails Abuse, Tsunderes, Unrequited Love, Violence, Yandere
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-01
Updated: 2020-08-01
Packaged: 2021-03-06 06:01:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25648495
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pantalion/pseuds/Pantalion
Summary: Amy Rose has prepared the perfect date in every detail, she's picked out the cutest outfit, and got two tickets to an event Sonic won't be able to refuse. All that remains is to knock on the door and ask her hero out on a date... What could go wrong? An introspective look into the self proclaimed girlfriend.
Relationships: Amy Rose & Miles "Tails" Prower, Amy Rose/Miles "Tails" Prower, Amy Rose/Sonic the Hedgehog
Series: Behind Your Eyes [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1821340
Comments: 7
Kudos: 17





	1. Chapter 1

I've got you this time.

I smile at my reflection in the lab window, fixing my brand new dress one more time as I gather my courage. The culmination of six long weeks of preparation.

My reflection smiles back at me, pretty as a picture. Rouge did an amazing job with the makeup. I look _sophisticated_.

Shame about the spines.

No. I look _fantastic_. Anyone who sees me tonight will be jealous of you, and _you_ won't be able to look away. I reach out to the door, my gloves tapping gently against the wood.

Normally I'd sneak in. Tails doesn't bother to lock his lab, after all. But today I am a mature, elegant young lady, and mature, elegant young ladies knock politely and wait.

It's not that I'm afraid of scaring you away or something.

Scaring you off seems to be my superpower. I don't know why. You stand up to demons and ghosts and evil geniuses, always running towards the next fight, but when it's me you start running _away_.

But not tonight. I've avoided you for almost a _month_ now, just so you won't feel like I'm smothering you. The ache of not seeing you has been so painful I felt like I was going to lose my mind any second. But even now I'm patient. Taking it slow. Knocking. Waiting.

Why has nobody opened the door yet?

I put my hands behind my back so you don't see my clenched fists when I open the door, tickets bent between my fingers. I don't want you to think I'm mad. I'm not mad. It's just cold. Like you I don't have fur on my arms, after all, and this dress isn't exactly the warmest, and how would you see how cute I was if I was wearing a jacket?

It's hard enough to get you to look at me at all.

But I have a secret weapon. I smile to myself, rocking on my heels as I stare at the merciless door in front of me. Should I knock again? But what if you open while I'm knocking? The image of you opening the door to get rapped on the nose is almost paralysing, but I push it out, clinging to the image of the perfect start to a perfect date. The look of surprise, then excitement on your face when I hold up these tickets. Tails told me how much you wanted to see the 'Knots.

Finally, the door handle turns. My face freezes. Do I smile excitedly? Shyly? Perhaps cheeky? What would make your heart flutter? You seemed to like that _cat_ plenty, and she was the shy type. I could _try_ sultry, but I don't think I could pull it off like Rouge can.

I make my choice, leaning back slightly. Scared of scaring you, and the door opens. My smile falls along with my gaze.

Not sleek. Not blue. Not you.

Tails.

Looking as though he hasn't slept in days, machine grease on his ear, strands of fur sticking up from his head like he's never heard of a brush. Your eternal companion, the only one who you haven't managed to leave behind yet.

"Oh, hey, Amy." Tails smiles, rubbing the back of his head, looking away from me.

My heart sinks to my stomach. _Both_ start to hurt. I know what he's about to say. He always rubs the back of his head when he's uncomfortable.

But I stand there anyway, hoping I'm wrong. Hoping that any second you'll pop your head through the door, to see your face turn from stern to surprised to delighted.

"Sorry." Tails doesn't even need to ask why I'm here. "You, uh, you just missed him."

I look over his head at the open window, my cheek twitching.

You didn't even see me.

You didn't even _look_ at me.

I'm not mad.

Really.

… Okay, I'm _super_ mad. I'm freezing cold. I look ridiculous. I don't even _like_ the 'Knots. It's either hit something or burst into tears, and if I cry now I won't ever stop. If I cry now I can't pretend not to be a pathetic loser who just can't let go.

My hammer is in my hands and Tails is on the floor, rings everywhere, and I'm still swinging.

And I'm still a pathetic loser.

Because you took my everything.

Eight years old and I met _you_ , the greatest hero in the galaxy, because destiny told me where I was supposed to stand. Eight years old and you rescued me from Eggman. From my home. From my family. From my _planet_. You took my everything and replaced it with excitement and wonder and _you_ … But you didn't even want me. I fell in love with the wind, but you didn't love me back. You didn't love anything about me so I changed _everything_ about me, and you _still_ don't love me back and-

I finally drop my hammer from fingers numb with cold and misery, staring at the fox laying at my feet, wondering why he didn't stop me, wishing that the violence made me feel better about _anything_. Why didn't he run away?

Like you did.

Tails sits up, tired eyes staring out into the distance rather than at me, and I _hate_ him. I hate him because you're the wind, and he's a bird, flying along with you, never far from your side. I hate him for being there, for not being you.

I hate him for not stopping me.

He's so _lame_. Like he's scared of _everything_ nowadays, and you're so cool and brave. But you run away and he's still here, same as always, still letting me hit him, still got that sleepy, sad expression on his fuzzy face.

"Gotcha." Tails leans forward towards my feet with a dazed smile.

I start in surprise, but he plucks two strips of bent card off the frozen dirt, giving me a smile I don't deserve as he holds them out to me. Two useless tickets to a band I don't even care about and I hate him for being nice but I take them anyway. I don't even know what kind of ugly face I'm showing as I hold them to my chest, trying not to cry and ruin borrowed makeup that you never even looked at.

"You should come inside." He picks himself up, still wearing a smile, as though I didn't just attack him. As if I couldn't have just killed him if he'd been nearly any other mobian. "You must be freezing out in this weather."

And I follow him in. As though I didn't, as though I couldn't. Into the warm space he shares with you without a care in the world.

He closes the window against the night as an afterthought, his tails coiling around one another in slow spirals as he potters towards a couch still indented with your spines, still coated in your warmth, and I sit, hands clutching my knees, tickets sticking out from between my fingers, taunting me until I want to turn them into confetti and throw them across the room and smash the couch and-

A grease-stained glove holds out a cup of steaming brownish liquid that smells overpoweringly of mint. Tails settles down alongside me, sipping his own cup in silence as he stares out at nothing, not even looking at me, rubbing his head where I hit him hardest.

I sip the drink, not quite burning my tongue, the unpleasantly strong taste flooding my nose. Sharing the silence.

I wonder, is the weariness and misery threatening to leak out of _my_ eyes even half that of this young fox who has everything I've ever wanted?

Why?

Why is he like this? Why is he so disgustingly _kind_ to me? Is it pity? The thought makes me hate him more. Makes me think of when I was younger, when I looked up to him so much. When he let me stay at one of his labs when this whole world was new and strange and I was all alone. Strange, looking at him now, so small and slight, how I thought he was older than me when we first met. Weird how I still look up to him so much now.

Why do you love him so? What is it about this timid, passive little fox that even you, my uncaring, beloved wind, carry him with you everywhere you go? Is it because he's young? I was young once, and you never cared. Is it because his tails are so soft and long and comfortable where my spines are hard and sharp and poke my neck when I turn too my head too quick? Is it because he's faster and smarter and stronger than me no matter how hard I try? Is it because he's a boy? What about me is so bad that I have to try so hard to get you to even _look at me_?

Why did you save me only to leave me?

And why am I always left with-

"You… ah…" Tails stares out at nothing, greasy fingers rubbing the back of his head. "Look… really… uh, pretty tonight."

My flurry of thoughts vanish. I blink at the _awful_ little fox as he sips his _awful_ mint tea, ears half flattened against his head like he thinks I might hit him. Again.

"Thanks." I turn my head away to drink. The heat of the lab and the tea prickling against my cheeks.

Really should have brought a jacket.

Really wish it was you saying those words.

Really wish I hadn't hit him.

Even now he's still a lot like you. He will save me without a second thought. But only if you're not around. Only if you tell him to.

Well, I'm telling him to.

I pull a handkerchief from a pocket. He flinches at my touch worse than when it had been a hammer.

"Hold still."

I dip it in my tea, using it to clean the grease from his ear, from the back of his neck where he keeps rubbing it. His tired blue eyes finally look _at_ me, rather than through me, wide, uncomprehending.

"Alright, go and change your gloves."

"Huh?" His ears perk up in confusion.

"They're _filthy_. And hurry up. We're going to be late."

"I-"

" _Now_." I scowl at him, and he flinches into obedience.

I stare at the tickets in my hand.

Yeah, that's better. He might even enjoy it, even though he doesn't really like crowds or loud noises, he needs to get out more anyway. I don't know if _I_ will, but at least I'm not being a stupid little girl chasing you who never even sees me. Now I'm the cool big sister-type bringing her friend out for some fun for a change. Less pathetic. Less terrible. When you're not involved I can _think_ again, I can stop playing out all the scenes of the perfect evening I didn't get with you. Stop thinking so much about how it's been five years and two dates and how I must have blown both of them because you avoided me just as much afterward and-

"Okay. All changed."

Tails smiles and looks up at me, holding up pristine white gloves and unblemished shoes, cute as one of those fairground toys I wanted you to win for me over at Nights Casino. My fluffy little saviour over all these years.

"Lucky."

"Huh?" He blinks at me.

"I bet you _never_ get cold. Jerk."

"How am I a jerk for-"

"Shut up." I grab his wrist, and he, passive, timid, lets me drag him to the door. "And you better have a great time!"

"I hope you do t-ah!"

I drag him out the door at a run, the frosty air sharp on my skin as I turn my smile away from him and accelerate, planning a _new_ evening in my head.

And, at least for a little while, trying to forget about the wind all around me.


	2. Chapter 2

I _really_ should have worn a jacket.

Funny, isn't it? _You_ run all over the place without even a shirt and I almost never hear you complain about being cold, even though you don't even have fur on your stomach, while I'm freezing my tail off just standing out here. I guess it's all the running that keeps you warm?

Tails stands beside me, looking around with weary disinterest, wilting slightly as a few cats come over to him for autographs but smiling at them all the same as he puts pen to paper, sticking close to me as he says a few words to them. Mostly answering questions about you.

I can only imagine if it was you standing here with me. The band wouldn't be able to perform until the whole crowd had seen you, admired you.

Seen _me_ with you.

I look up at the stage, blinking against the lights.

I'm _not_ here with you. I'm here with a friend. An _annoying_ friend who doesn't look even a _little_ cold. Or excited. He looks at those cats the same way he looks at me, tired eyes and hollow smile. Polite disinterest behind his veneer of _Tails_. They're _bothering_ him, but he stays right there, right next to me, smiling and talking, rubbing the back of his head.

None of them even look at me a second time.

Well, the tom does. Which makes me feel a little better. But nobody's asking for _my_ autograph, nobody's asking _me_ if you're coming today. Your _girlfriend_.

Or at least, close enough. You're my destiny, after all. Even if you're not here. Even if you barely even look at me. Even if you flirt with any girl that's _not_ me. What else am I if not your girlfriend?

A pair of avians walk over. Tails looks at them too, his ever swirling tails stiffen behind him as he smiles up at them, signing a paper and answering the same questions. He's as recognisable as you are, after all, it's partly why he stays cooped up in his lab so much. Partly why he didn't want to come.

Five rabbits this time. Tails _flinches_. At least his tails do. His face is locked into a smile as he looks up at everyone, carrying out multiple conversations. Doing his best to be _you_ and doing a _terrible_ job.

 _You'd_ have run away by now.

"Come on!" I grab his hand. "We're going to miss the show!"

"Sorry!" He says. I'm not sure if it's to me or his groupies as I drag him into the crowd. A parody of the perfect date I envisioned with you, dodging the adoring fans with you, finding somewhere quiet and cosy to watch the show, just the two of us.

How pitiful am I that I can't even hold the attention of the fox I dragged with me the whole way? I _know_ he hates it. I've watched his tails for years. They're a lot worse at lying than he is. Why did he even let me drag him out here? I could have called Cream. It might have been a little harder to get here on time, but we could have made it, Cream would have had _fun_. She would have been an excited kid at a concert, not like this timid little weirdo looking around like he expects to have to fight his way out any minute. It's not even _that_ crowded. There just aren't that many mobians left, after all.

"Thanks, Amy." Tails smiles at me, still holding my hand. I can barely hear him over the clamour of people around me. Barely see him in the dark, dwarfed by the crowds around him.

"You're supposed to be escorting _me_ , you know." I let him go, rubbing my numb arms as I look away, straining to look at the stage through the crowd. "You're _such_ a pushover."

"I know."

"You never used to-"

I'm cut off by the announcer, the lights on the stage brightening as a mongoose walks on stage with her band, the crowd roars all around me as she says a few words. Then music blasts through my ears.

 _Your_ kind of music. I can see why you like them.

I can see why you like _her_. The mongoose throws herself across the stage as she sings, wild and free, like she doesn't even see the audience, almost running into her guitarist, lost in the melody.

Would you look at me if I was on that stage? If I could sing, or dance, or throw myself around like an idiot in front of a thousand people?

I'm not jealous.

Tails brushes up against me. I look down to see him straining on tiptoes, trying to see the stage. I roll my eyes. So what if he's a few inches shorter than the people in front? As though he couldn't just zip up overhead at any point and get the best view in the house, he can _fly_. So why hasn't he?

Tails sees me looking down at him and smiles again, not mentioning his problem, even as he keeps trying to peek between heads to get a view of the stage. Even when someone steps on his tail, he just scootches a little closer to me without a word, making sure he doesn't get swept away by the crowd, following my movements without even glancing my way.

Ugh. Of _course_ he does. He's _your_ sidekick after all. Staying close is what he's best at. Even if he's miserable, even if he's staring at a wall of heads and shoulders, even if I dragged him here, he'll stay right here, next to me, never running away until I'm done with him. Same as he would for anyone.

And I _hate_ that.

I ram my elbow into his ribs and put my arms behind my back, crouching down slightly. He stares at me, murmuring a question too quiet to hear.

"Get on!" I snap, scowling at him. This idiotic genius too dumb to take care of himself.

He hesitates. Of course he does. Like I want to be bent over in a dress with a bunch of people trampling around me, dancing to the mongoose girl that won't stay still.

"Now!"

He does as he's told. Of _course_ he does. How are the two of you so close and so _different_? So lame. Here I am, dressed to kill, giving an eight year old fox a piggyback.

He's heavier than he looks. I remember he mentioned that once. I was trying to get him to teach me how to swim so I could rescue you when you were drowning and give you the kiss of life. But he said something about mobians being denser than sand or something and it being basically impossible. Like him and Knuckles don't do it themselves all the time.

But even if he's heavier than he looks, he _looks_ like a ball of fuzz, and I have three inches on him and I've lifted people four times his size and fifteen times his weight. I straighten up again, his weight pressing down on my head and back, his tails wrapping up over my shoulders for purchase as he cranes over my head, watching the band with rapt stillness with maybe a thank you murmured against the noise.

I wonder if _he_ likes this music? Or does he just like the mongoose?

But I'm not mad.

I'm finally warming up, after all. Another parody of what I planned. I had my back spike removed so _you_ could carry _me_ , after all, not this. _Anything_ but having a twin-tailed backpack drooling over some floozy.

Well, she's not a bad singer, I suppose. You'd have been happy at least. And that would have made _me_ happy. And maybe you could have said you liked my dress. And maybe you'd finally realise that you love me and we'd have our first kiss and you'd stop running away all the time and…

And I'm here with _him_ instead, his chin on my head as he ogles the girl on stage. Well that's _fine_ , I guess. About time he started taking an interest in girls. Maybe he could teach you a thing or two?

The song ends, the crowd roars its praise as the mongoose traipses her way back to the middle of the stage, all skinny and gorgeous, talking about how much she loves the atmosphere here in Water Palace. Gag. There's no _way_ she's not cold in what she's wearing. Not me though, I have a fluffy hat.

I nudge Tails with my head, taking advantage of the comparative quiet to get a good tease in.

"Hey, loverboy, roll your tongue back in. My spines are getting wet."

He doesn't reply. Doesn't even twitch as the next song blasts out. Ugh. _Boys_.

Well I _did_ tell him to have a good time, I suppose. I sigh. He's lucky to have a sweetheart like me for a friend. He'd probably be sat at his desk otherwise, drinking bad tea and eating bad candy. I bet _you'd_ be staring too. Or insist on joining her on stage. My perfect date can't even be perfect in my head.

I look away as best I can with Tails slumped over me, glancing through the crowd, people dancing and having a good time. Girls with boyfriends, family, friends. And here's me, my boyfriend is probably two thousand miles away and doesn't even look at me, my family is on the other side of the sun, and my dorky friend is _literally_ drooling on my head over the lead singer.

"Hey!" I shake him. A gloved hand drifts down off my shoulder. "Oh you had _better_ not be-"

Wait.

Shifting to carry him one handed, I fish a pocket mirror out and stare into it, angling the surface until…

Yep. So much for looking at the show or the mongoose. He's fast asleep, not even facing the stage, oblivious to the guitar solo blasting our eardrums at this very moment, cheek wet against my head.

I'm not _that_ mad. Just thinking about where to drop him off.

Maybe a cliff? Straight into the water? He can swim, that would be fine, right?

And then I see you. There in the corner of the mirror, a silhouette I know so well.

I turn around, the only person in the whole crowd not facing the band as I stare up at the top of a metal scaffold, where you sit beside a spotlight, staring down at the stage.

You've been here this whole time.

Is that someone with you? Or are you alone? Are you here for _her_?

I can't tell. I'm blinded by the spotlight. And anger. So, _so_ much anger.

And my hammer is in my free hand, the mirror forgotten. I walk through the crowd, pushing them aside as I march up to the scaffolding, squeezing the handle tight so I don't fly away.

If I hit it hard enough the people here won't be in danger. Just into the next zone. Just until my hammer breaks. Just until you finally get tired of running and let me _hit you_ until my arms don't work anymore.

Pyrotechnics erupt from the stage and Tails stirs, fidgeting in my one handed grip, tails squeezing my shoulders as he whimpers out slurred words.

Perfect. I'll put him up there too and whack both of you. All three of you. I don't even know anymore. Why didn't you just _look at me_?

The wind blows, icy and cold against my wet cheeks.

And my hammer is gone, my hand behind my back, supporting Tails' shifted weight as I walk towards the exit, kicking the metal scaffold as I leave hard enough to make it at least wobble a little.

Do you even notice? Do you get that panicked expression you get when you see me? Do you like my dress?

Are you jealous? Even a little?

I hope so, but I don't know. Because for once I _don't_ look at you. For once _I'm_ running away. I know you could catch me if you wanted to.

But you don't. And so I keep on walking until I can't hear the music anymore. The open fields of the zone stretch before me as I walk, my cheeks cold and wet and prickling every time the wind picks up.

But only my cheeks.

Finally Tails stirs, momentarily tightening his arms around me like I wish you would before jerking upright, tails outstretched. He almost falls off my back as he looks around in a panic.

"Wh-what happened? Where's the concert?"

"Left. It was too noisy there."

"Oh… I…" His dangling arm withdraws from my chest, probably rubbing the back of his head. "I'm sorry. I've been working on a new project for the last few days. Guess I've been tired."

He laughs nervously. Like he thinks I'm going to hit him. Again. Like I didn't drag him there.

I sigh, staring out across the dimly lit grass of the zone.

"You were a lousy date."

He flinches, starting to stammer out an apology.

"You'd better take me someplace nice next time to make up for it."

"Huh?"

I can just _picture_ his ears. It makes me smile to myself through my wet cheeks.

"And you'd better get lots of sleep the night before! And… and… help me figure out where Sonic would like to go. No letting him run out the window next time!"

"…Okay. Sure thing. I'll see what I can come up with."

"Now get back on my shoulders properly. I'm cold and it's a long walk back to your place."

"I could-"

" _Tails_."

So he did.

And I don't know if Tails fell back to sleep on the walk back.

But I do know he never let go.

**The End.**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading this alternative look at Amy Rose that was originally supposed to be one chapter and then wasn't.
> 
> Amy is a character we've seen a lot of in Eternal Tails from Miles' perspective, especially the more "pleasant" side she shows in Sonic's absence. Hopefully you've enjoyed reading this look at the darker part of her character, and hopefully I've done it justice.
> 
> Hope you've enjoyed reading, and I'd seriously appreciate if people could weigh in if the / relationship tag between Miles and Amy is appropriate or not. I've had mixed feedback on whether to include it either way.
> 
> ~ Pan


End file.
